Funny Jokes? You decide!

Add a joke or vote on these rib ticklers.

All jokes from one liners to rambling shaggy dog stories.


Shane Mauss: Girlfriend Strip Club
I told Maggie I wanted to go to a strip club. She said this to me, she goes, 'What do you want to go to a strip club for? I'll strip for you.' I was like, 'How great is that? I guess I'll just tell my friends to come over here.'
Author : Comedy Central

Jim Gaffigan: Lost Remote
You ever look for the remote control, you can't find it, so you just decide, 'Ah, it looks like I'm not watching TV.'
Author : Comedy Central

Chelsea Handler: Is It OK?
I have a question. Do you guys think it's OK to drink while you're pregnant if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?
Author : Comedy Central

Tom Papa: Guy in a Speedo
The only thing creepier than seeing a guy in a Speedo is seeing a guy in a Speedo staring back at you.
Author : Comedy Central

Kirk Fox: Defibrillator
You've got seconds to live, and whoever invented this thing gave it five syllables. Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of a rush job? ... Shouldn't they at least call it defibrillnow?
Author : Comedy Central

Jacob Sirof: New Year's Baby
We had our first two years ago -- on New Year's Eve. That's a rockin' birthday. Kind of f**ks any New Year's plans I might have had for the rest of my life, but whatever, kids can be selfish.
Author : Comedy Central

Chelsea Handler: AA Meetings
Have you ever been to an AA meeting? No wonder these people are alcoholics -- I've never needed a drink more badly in my life.
Author : Comedy Central

Jo Koy: Three-Year-Old Son
I've got a three-year-old son. It's like living with a crazy midget.
Author : Comedy Central

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